PLUS SIZE AND LOVING IT

*Disclaimer – Please allow me not to be politically correct

Wow it has been a minute since I wrote, but I sure had to ride the Njoki Chege bandwagon, by now we all know what her article said, and as much as I am not going to comment on it, something she said in her article took me back to a dark place in my life. Her exact words were: 

You are fat: I like to call a spade a spade, so when I see a fat girl, I will call her fat and not sugar-coat the truth (pun intended). Most married women I know are fat. Children or no children, you have lost your physical attractiveness and you have been reduced to a blob. Rolls upon rolls of fat and flesh jiggling around the city like nobody’s business. I look at some married women and I pity their husbands, asking myself “How do you get turned on by that?” or ‘How do you wash all that?” I understand that the vagaries of life and childbirth take its toll on a woman’s body but, ladies; can you shove this stinking attitude of ‘plus-size and loving it’? It is time women stopped lying to themselves that big is beautiful, that plus size is attractive and that what matters is what is on the inside. To hell with inner beauty! Who gets turned on by inner beauty? Who cares if you have a wonderful heart and a wiggly mass of flesh for a behind? Big is not beautiful. Those tires around your waist are not love handles; they are ugly, unsightly and downright unattractive. Those flabby arms are not sexy at all, they are disgusting to look at and you must tone them! Those stretch marks are not beauty marks of childbirth, they are as a result of your uncontrolled consumption of insurmountable loads of food and you need to stop eating like a pig. A man can afford a potbelly and get away with being assumed as rich but an overweight woman is a disgrace to the womenfolk. Do away with your thunder thighs ladies, they are excess baggage you don’t need. If it has been two years since you had a child and your tummy still wobbles when you brush your teeth then you are a lazy bum who needs to find a treadmill right now. I don’t care if you have a busy schedule or four kids, if you have time to down an entire thermos of uji, then girl, you got time to hit the gym! Stop giving your husband’s a tough time by expecting them to look away when they see a woman with a great body pass by when you resemble a baby hippo!

This bully took me back to my childhood days; you see I am one of the 'Fat' women she is talking about. For me it didn't start yesterday I have had 28 years to come to terms with it (had to be vacuumed out of my mother, so I do know what I am talking about) and yes I am a bit sensitive when it comes to weight. You see the thing with the Njoki's of this world is they do not know what their words do to someone.

Growing up I genuinely hated myself and all this was based on how I looked. Fortunately children were not too mean, they did agree to play with me and be my friend. In the last 10 years of my life I've learned to overcome my hatred of myself, I stopped looking in the mirror and seeing that fat girl who didn't fit in. All this was changed by a Dr. Seuss Quote: "Why try so hard to fit in when I was born to stand out." How true this statement is you see, it made me realize that in my life I was constantly looking at my flaws instead of the GREAT qualities and talents that I poses. I learnt If I concentrate on what the Njoki's (and they are many) think) I will not be able to concentrate on what is most important, to be a Great person, a good mother, a loving wife, a doting daughter and a fabulous friend. 

If I am being totally honest, it’s not easy; it’s a great struggle, a constant battle.  I am not talking about the self doubt, but challenges that come with being 'Fat'.

 1) Shopping is hard, where do you find the perfect pants, and when you do, they are twice as expensive.

2) Keeping up with Life's demands is hard. (Gym isn’t a cup of tea)

 3) Breaking up with Junk, I love food and the oilier the better.

It may be hard for a fitness junkie to understand but most big girls (like me) are happy. We've come to terms with our weight. Now don’t get me wrong, my head is not buried in sand, I know I need to lose weight, not for physical beauty but for health reason but it’s not a journey you take by yourself, it needs support. But until then I am going to love myself and know that being 'Fat' is not a curse, it’s who I am- at least for the time being.

This is an urgent plea can we please stop body, there is enough image consciousness going on, and it is our responsibility to help each other and teach little girls to feel comfortable with themselves.