JOURNEY FROM YES TO I DO: WIFE

I am scared, why lie, I am a firm believer in until death do us part. It’s one thing to get a good man but you also need to be a good woman for him I mean no doubt you can list the qualities you would want in a mate. It is much more difficult, however, to look at yourself to determine how you can contribute to a marriage. The jokes are there on how in marriage there is one who is right then then there is the husband, but seriously, to be a good wife, what does it take? Is it being a good cook or taking care of the home? These questions have plagued my head for quite a while now. In the not so distant past, the perception of what a wife and her roles were, vastly differed from today’s accepted views. A "good" wife was stereotyped as a soft-spoken, submissive homemaker who was the universal mother and visually stimulating even though the situation possibly resembled servitude more than companionship. So yes the times have changed drastically now a wife has the choice to be a supportive homemaker who provides services for her husband out of love and adoration, which are reciprocated by him or she is now allowed to bear nearly half of the financial responsibility in a household and balances the household responsibilities with her husband equally. The Bible often refers to a good wife being a good thing. And then in the book of proverbs it gives a detailed account of what exactly a good wife is and does. In Africa., at least how I read is, the girl child has been confused, I am just saying that since the fight of equality started taking place, the expectation on HER is high, we are taught that we have to succeed in school that we are equals to the boy child, we know that what a man can do we can do better (something we have pushed too far) then comes an age where if you are not married then it starts being frowned upon. If you are about to get married then you are taught things that as a child you grew up knowing as old fashioned. Qualities such as loyalty, honesty and the ability to compromise are something that I hold dear and I think make a good marriage( best way to show submissiveness, if you ask me ). Having a mate with whom to share life's joys and sorrows is truly a blessing; the hard part is staying true to yourself and not losing it when trying to play a role.

THE JOURNEY FROM YES TO I DO: KUHANDA ITHIIGI

I started writing this blog as we waited for Mr. Right and his family and friends to come, I was so nervous that this first line is all I could write. I could hear the singing going on (OK, I was peeping from the upstairs room) and then to add to the bugs in my tummy, my people weren’t opening. Oh my nerves at that point hit the roof. So I went back to my room where I was with my gals. To be very honest it was the most nerve wrecking time of my life. Then I saw them come in and I started settling. This whole experience to be very honest was quite eye opening. I am not talking about the actual day here; I am talking about the whole week leading to the event. At one point I had told my bro we go to Narok on the day of, the day before the event I had told Mr. Right we elope and then just have his family go by themselves and state that their son has stolen their daughter, anything not to face that whole crowd. Remember when I was saying we had a guest list of 100 people waah, what a huge underestimation, we had over 150 people present. Anyway back to my jitters, throughout the week, Mr. Right was cool calm and collected, and here I was in such a panicked state (ooh how this pissed me off). Throughout the day my mum had been weepy and all, I didn’t get why, then, I was told to come down and I had to be covered in lesso so that he can identify me (I had leaked the color of lesso I was going to have on, didn’t want him to be fined), then the floodgates opened, it was a realization that now I am no longer just their child but I am soon to be someone’s wife. My mum had once told me she needs to prepare herself as I am on my way out and it had never hit me. So as my gals and Boys were being covered in lessos I was standing there with my tears flowing down. Now, the tradition is that those of my body type and height were to walk with me, but then my two cousins (male) were changed and put in my gals places, my gals were in the first group so picture this, I am covered from head to toe, my feet have been adorned socks and those next to me are two men, don’t you see why I had to leak it to him. Then he is asked whether it’s me and he says yes and I confirm that he is the reason as to why we have guests in our home. Then my aunt gives me a seat and I seat. As in the whole reason for my nerves, the whole freaking out, tears streaming, arguments over the dress( yes we finally settled on the one mum wanted) has culminated to me being seated in a chair, REALLY! REALLY! REALLY! It felt so …………….. (No words can describe it). Then they go upstairs and we are called again and I am asked whether my people should pick whatever goods they have brought (of course the answer was yes). All in all it was an awesome day. It was full of tradition; it was all I wanted and more. So sure I was worried and I was nervous and yes we were teary (mum and I) but it was everything I wanted and more. I am officially on the journey to being Mrs. Right. I am so thankful and grateful to my friends who turned up and supported me, Waithi and Charity, for breathing with me as I got those anxiety thingies. Thanks so much, now to the next phase in our lives. Oh and Mr. Right, thank you for making it all possible. I truly do love you.