GIRLFRIENDS

Women are known to be their own worst enemies, and there are so many harmful aspects of female relationships. There are tales of competition, backstabbing, bullying, and sexual shaming, and other hateful, damaging, and downright terrifying things that we women do to each other. Things that we cannot even fathom to do to your own man or male friends. I am not contesting that women can be cruel, manipulative, jealous and petty; I am just saying that we’re incredibly effective at devising ways to hurt one another because we know exactly how difficult to bear our attacks will be. Ever had of those women who struggle to relate to other women, women who are more comfortable around men, women who have had such scarring experiences in their female relationships that they are unsure they’ll ever be able to trust other women again. Well I am that kind of woman, and yes I know that the toxic dark side of friendship among women is getting far more airplay than the astonishingly beneficial bright side. In today’s day and era long lasting female friendships are hard to come by these days. Work schedules, family obligations and long distances are all obstacles to nurturing female friendships, however I am in the works of creating good and long lasting female friendships that can be one of the strongest bonds between human beings after ones children that is. I am talking of, a deep seated enduring loyalty that can rival marriage and blood ties in importance and value. Considering the conflict in schedules, distance, I want friendships where we forgive so many unforgivable things, e.g. long unexplained absences, which dissolve into hugs and laughter. Friends who listen, support, empathize and probe as if our favorite topics were the most compelling on earth and that one’s interest is often enough to pique another’s interest. Girlfriends who will talk to about everything from bowel movements, sexual hang-ups, politics, religion, allergies, in-laws, pet peeves, menstruation and just about every other taboo topic you can imagine, you know, all this in a single sitting, and always without judgment. Friends who will know my husband to be and my family well enough to love them and understand their vital importance, but have just enough distance to give sound, relatively objective advice. Friends, who we can tell each other how proud of each other we are, complement each other’s beauty and all in all be overjoyed when we see each other, I want friends whom, I can share my worries about aging with, people who wrestle with the same body image woes and worry about the same insidious societal pressures. As much as I love my guy friends, only women are confronted with the same forces, so they know first-hand how I feel and why. It won’t matter that we are geographically scattered, as long as we comprise of a truly amazing network of women and I shall be blessed to know them all. As I ask for all this out of my old and new girlfriends this is my promise to you, I will make time for you and make you a priority, even if it’s just a coffee date. I promise to be the kinda friend you want. If you are my old friend and I have done something at one point or another that has made me a flake or kinda put you off, I apologies. Keeping friends doesn’t have to be hard, as long as we show each other respect and make the effort to be friends and create time to these friendships. It’s just like male relationships, we work so damn hard to make them work so why don’t we put the same efforts. So this is my avowal, I promise to make time and work hard to be the kinda friend I want to have.
This is to all the girlfriends in my life and the ones who are on their way in

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

I prefer that you tell me the truth even it its hurts rather than lie to me just to make me happy………………………….how true is this statement……. And I ask in this context . Say you have a good friend or an acquaintance whom you like and you meet her man out in the clubs or in a restaurant and you see her man with some other woman looking too cozy…….DO YOU OR DON’T YOU TELL? I am of the school of thought please tell , why you may ask, it’s so important for us women to start covering each other’s nakedness with love. - I expect you would want no less if the roles were reversed and I saw your boyfriend cheating on you. . I don't care about saving a friendship with someone who won't look out for my best interests and at least be straight up with me. Some may argue that the messenger will be shot well this is tricky but do you think your friend can be so shallow to that point, if one of my friends knew I was being cheated on and didn't tell me, I would probably never speak to them again. Hell, even if an acquaintance knew and didn't tell me, I would want nothing to do with them. Medically speaking there are hundreds of STD's out there, a good friend MUST tell a friend or family member when suspected infidelity is possible. A partner has a right to know, and it could be a matter of life or even death! Plus think about this we women have a sixth sense so if I think he is cheating on me then he probably is and am already having that uneasy feeling so you will be playing a vital role in helping me realize that I am not a stupid, jealous and psycho woman. What happens if the person already knows and is in a state of denial, not wanting to accept? Well that’s a person’s predilection but you will have done your part and been a true friend. Come on ladies...let’s stick together and take care of each other. Men are very literal for them its bros before hoes so why can’t we make it chic’s before dics.