TELL OR NOT TO TELL: THIS TIME YOU ARE AT FAULT

You are at a party, had a lil bit too much to drink, and this cute guy you have been eyeing for a while is here, you guys have flirted a bit, and then pap he kisses you, then you think waah I need to stop. After a little while, maybe after one, two vodkas, too many, you get yourself in his arms and as they say one thing leads to another and when you open your eyes, it’s morning, in a place you don’t know and you are naked and with someone else who is not your man. Now every time your guilty eyes meet your spouse's, you consider spilling your guts. My question is to tell or not to tell. Will telling the truth bode well for your relationship, or buy you a ticket straight to the single lane? What brought this on; well I read an article in a magazine the other day that stated that one of the newest dating rules was that you didn't tell your partner if you'd cheated, as it would only add to the pain on both sides. Rather, the article suggested, if you were remorseful for your actions and knew you'd never do it again, there was no reason to share with your partner about the unfaithfulness. Weird as it may sound, I think you should tell, me I want to be told so why should I double standard him, however you Should Only Tell When Asked. Ok yes I kind of, sort of, get what the article was getting at (why stir the pot if the issue has been resolved already?) yes coming forward might end the dating relationship, but it might also strengthen things after the initial shock. Don’t you think it would serve as a wakeup call to all parties with regards to what wasn't working? Many might think am contradicting myself, but the truth of the matter is no good can come from your confession. Why you ask because this is a scenario whereby unless he doesn’t like you, your boyfriend will feel hurt and betrayed, which he is allowed to. You will be the bad person and even if you don’t break up, things in your relationship will never be the same. The crack in that mirror called trust will be wide and plus his ego will have been bruised and resentment will have taken root. Here is where we start saying, he will never find out, my dear sister he so will, I don’t know how but they do either be some gossip he heard somewhere or it may be a hypothetical question he wants answered, or it could be that he cheated and wants to know if you have as well so HE will feel less guilty. So whatever reason prompts the question you absolutely must be truthful in your answer. This is where the honesty part comes in tell him how terrible you felt about it but kept it to yourself because you didn’t want to hurt him. If he asks who the other guy is, tell him, but if he asks for details please be fair, don’t tell him. He doesn’t need to know all the gory details, all he needs to know is that it made you miss and appreciate what you had with him and that you hope he can find it in his heart to forgive you. This said, we women don’t just cheat for the sake of it, think of this if the love is worth salvaging, you have to fix the problem or the issues will fester. Ask yourself why you did it and then let your boyfriend know what you need from him. Disclaimer: if asked by Mr right I wouldn’t say, he already has told me he would stab me to death.