THE JOURNEY FROM YES TO I DO:18 Marriage Lessons...

THIS IS A RE-POST BUT IT REALLY MEANT A GREAT DEAL TO ME WHEN I READ IT.AS THIS ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT I WOULD LOVE MY MARRIAGE TO BE. To commemorate the 18 great years since I married my college sweetheart, I took some time to think through 18 lessons that I’ve learnt about marriage in that time. So… here goes… 1. A great marriage consists of two good friends - everything else is hype 2. A cord of three strands is not easily broken 3. If one of us wins, we both lose 4. You’ll never meet all your spouses needs! 5. Marriage takes mutual sacrifice 6. Divorce is not an option 7. Our marriage is the means to an end 8. We need a common approach to parenting 9. We need a common approach to in-laws 10. Takes a lot of time to get it right! 11. If you can’t lend trust, don’t get married! 12. Opposites attract! And soon attack :-) 13. These are the ‘good old days’ 14. If the grass is greener on the other side, water yours! 15. Don’t be a ‘child centered’ marriage 16. Absence makes the heart go wander 17. Parenting is a team sport 18. Schedule spontaneity!

WOMEN'S PREROGATIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are hard; they want and require a lot of work. They are made hard by the fact that they constitute two humans beings of the opposite sex, with different wirings and expectations of the other. (So does this make same sex relationships easier, mind you am not condoning it) My best friend told me that a man is a man and I should therefore let him be. This might be true but that doesn’t mean a man gets the opportunity or leeway to do as he pleases regardless of a woman’s emotions and feelings. Yes there are certain fundamentals that we have to let be, and I have no intentions nor should any woman want to change a man but if those fundamentals are infringing on my feelings and you as the man have absolutely no respect for them due to the fact that “I am a Man” then baby better be prepared to meet the wrath of a woman. In this regard I am talking about what is popularly known as side Dishes, as in affairs, I totally disagree that a man has to cheat, that it is in his nature or that men do not have the word monogamy in their dictionary. Mr. Rights best friend once told him that he should take his fun where and when he can. (Talk of misinformation) I am not going to be hypocritical and say women are the best, that we are always the victims, I mean I switch on your stations and listen to the filth that is spewed by certain women, heck I have guys in my life who are having affairs with married WOMEN and we also have been known to take each others boyfriends, heck even I have had affairs. I will not speak on behalf of men as I do not subscribe to their way of thinking, but what happened to the expectations we have as women? What questions do we ask ourselves? What is the final straw that breaks your back? What is too much for you? Is this an open relationship? Am I allowed to cheat because you are? Guys and also we chic’s have made fun of “the List” that dictated what we want in a man/ woman. I am of the opinion that it guided ones boundaries. Therefore the questions above would become moot as one knew what we expected of my man. “The List” was made to be unrealistic and then it became worse, due to the ratio of men to women, we have been made to feel that we women are few and therefore extremely lucky should you have a man. Is this really true? Do you consider yourself lucky if the man you are so supposedly lucky to have, cheats on you constantly, beats on you, is a pathological cheat? Why did we as women have to adjust our expectations? When did it become acceptable to be with a man who cheats on you? Why did we as women cheapen ourselves? What are we supposed to teach our daughters, younger sisters or any other young girl in society? Women are the backbone of a community and if we cannot value ourselves or hold ourselves up in dignity, who will? I don’t want to be that girl, the one who stands here and hears what you supposedly didn’t do with that girl. I need to be the one with the courage to leave to get that person that God made for me, the one who has been put on Earth for just me and this should be all women across the board. Am I saying Wake up and leave your relationship, NO, I am saying LOVE yourself more to know what is or isn’t good for you. GOOD WEEK ALL