How many people do you know in violent relationships? What would you do if anyone you knew was in such a relationship? What would your answer be? Well this question was recently posed to me and my answer was I am fortunate to know none. And what would I do? I would get them help. Naïve of me I know but I mean a real Man never hits a woman or makes her feel like she is worthless. So I thought but it seems in Africa and Kenya in particular, Women and children are often in great danger in the place where they should be safest: within their families. For many, ‘home’ is where they face a regime of terror and violence at the hands of somebody close to them – somebody they should be able to trust. Those victimized suffer physically and psychologically. Their human rights are denied and their lives are stolen from them by the ever-present threat of violence.
It seems that domestic violence has been a long-standing problem in Kenya, particularly in rural areas. Deeply engrained beliefs about gender roles and marriage have encouraged the practice. In a patriarchal society, domestic violence is actually recognized as one way of disciplining one's wife. In fact, even the society socializes you as a woman to anticipate this discipline. It is so deeply inculcated in many peoples' minds that you have women who say when they have not been beaten; their husbands have stopped loving them. When people talk about abuse we concentrate on physical abuse and the frequency of the said abuse, a woman will say that she has never encountered violence as her husband/partner has only hit her once. Does the infrequency of it stop it from being abuse?
Violence in women is not just physical but also sexual and Emotional. Violence against women goes beyond beatings, its forced marriages, marital rape, sexual harassment, intimidation at work and school, forced pregnancies, forced abortions and many more where the rights of the woman are infringed upon. Apparently in an educated society, violence against women is on the rise, many have said this is due to poverty and alcoholism. But don’t you think this is plain cowardice on the perpetuator of the violence?
One then is forced to ask so how come the women in the said relationships stay is it due to love, responsibility for their children or have they been socialized to accept that it is in order to be beaten, and that there is no need to report such matters. I know there are women coming forward because more are aware that violence is wrong and that it's more than just physical, and more believe that it is acceptable to walk away from an abusive situation. This then leads me to wonder, does the indifference by the police force play a part in discouraging women from reporting violence?
How then can we reduce the numbers of people in violent situations? This calls for an awareness creation exercise to let women know that being beaten or violated is inhuman. The government also needs to know that setting new laws on the books is not enough. Law enforcement and court mechanisms also have to be made friendly and accessible to women, in all regions. We all have a role to play, let’s play it to make our country, a friendlier place for our sisters, daughters, mothers and even grandmothers.
