NEW YEAR AND LOSS OF A LOVED ONE

I haven’t posted in such a long time as in the cobwebs that have accumulated, waah, I have truly neglected this blog. HAPPY NEW YEAR::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MERRY CHRISTMAS ::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Or any other holiday that I have missed. For me I have so many plans for the New Year. I have however vowed no resolutions. I am looking forward for Mr. Right and his people to come home and start the dowry payment negotiations. I am looking forward to my best friend graduating and her coming home in June. I started my year with Syke and Energy. This blog however has nothing to do with happy new year or what the year has in store for me. well you see, on the 2nd day of the year we received such horrendous news that a niece has died. It was so hard to absorb, we really didn’t want to accept. Then the circumstances of her death made it worse. Let me tell you, we all know that Violence against women is rampant and it’s a monster eating away at our society. We always hear of it happening, stories of women in hospital cause of being abused by their partner, but until it hits home, we never really know the impact it holds, I mean think about the Former NTV Ms Kabiru , who was found dead in their bedroom by her brother who broke the door out of curiosity only to find her body, only her family know the trauma of it. Then on December 21st Mary Kagure was laid to rest, exactly one week after she was brutally murdered by someone she had loved, her fiancé. She was stabbed several times on the neck and chest. She died on the spot, helpless. We hear of such stories and we cringe. Then now it’s our very own, Yvonne. GIRLS, WOMEN if a man hits you please leave, as in ‘when he raises his hand, use your God given feet and flee’. Please if you know someone in such a relationship help them leave. Therefore: This BLOG I DEDICATE IT To YVONNE MAINA: a beautiful woman with a loving soul. Fare thee well and farewell for a while. We would like for you to come back And stay a while with us. for No farewell words were spoken. No time to say good-bye. You were gone before we knew it, And only God knows why. Secret tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, No one will ever know. Your memory is our keepsake, With which we'll never part. God has you in His Keeping. We have you in our Heart. RIP YVONNE

Violence against women

How many people do you know in violent relationships? What would you do if anyone you knew was in such a relationship? What would your answer be? Well this question was recently posed to me and my answer was I am fortunate to know none. And what would I do? I would get them help. Naïve of me I know but I mean a real Man never hits a woman or makes her feel like she is worthless. So I thought but it seems in Africa and Kenya in particular, Women and children are often in great danger in the place where they should be safest: within their families. For many, ‘home’ is where they face a regime of terror and violence at the hands of somebody close to them – somebody they should be able to trust. Those victimized suffer physically and psychologically. Their human rights are denied and their lives are stolen from them by the ever-present threat of violence.
It seems that domestic violence has been a long-standing problem in Kenya, particularly in rural areas. Deeply engrained beliefs about gender roles and marriage have encouraged the practice. In a patriarchal society, domestic violence is actually recognized as one way of disciplining one's wife. In fact, even the society socializes you as a woman to anticipate this discipline. It is so deeply inculcated in many peoples' minds that you have women who say when they have not been beaten; their husbands have stopped loving them. When people talk about abuse we concentrate on physical abuse and the frequency of the said abuse, a woman will say that she has never encountered violence as her husband/partner has only hit her once. Does the infrequency of it stop it from being abuse?
Violence in women is not just physical but also sexual and Emotional. Violence against women goes beyond beatings, its forced marriages, marital rape, sexual harassment, intimidation at work and school, forced pregnancies, forced abortions and many more where the rights of the woman are infringed upon. Apparently in an educated society, violence against women is on the rise, many have said this is due to poverty and alcoholism. But don’t you think this is plain cowardice on the perpetuator of the violence?
One then is forced to ask so how come the women in the said relationships stay is it due to love, responsibility for their children or have they been socialized to accept that it is in order to be beaten, and that there is no need to report such matters. I know there are women coming forward because more are aware that violence is wrong and that it's more than just physical, and more believe that it is acceptable to walk away from an abusive situation. This then leads me to wonder, does the indifference by the police force play a part in discouraging women from reporting violence?
How then can we reduce the numbers of people in violent situations? This calls for an awareness creation exercise to let women know that being beaten or violated is inhuman. The government also needs to know that setting new laws on the books is not enough. Law enforcement and court mechanisms also have to be made friendly and accessible to women, in all regions. We all have a role to play, let’s play it to make our country, a friendlier place for our sisters, daughters, mothers and even grandmothers.