An ideal relationship is one where the emotional bond is a strong one that has mutual trust/respect, one whose communication is open and you are good friend as well as lover to and with your partner, right, isn’t this what they say. This is easier said than done right? To be open and vulnerable with your partner or spouse there needs to be trust and if the trust is broken in, then you open Pandora’s Box and holes are you find yourself doubting him in other areas.
Where am I going with this, well I am the kind of person whom from an early age, was conditioned to believe that to expose my fears, weaknesses and negative feelings is not really acceptable (children are to be seen and not heard era) and more so at a time of confrontation is to invite trouble (serious thrashing would happen).so am not really good at being vulnerable with people, leave Mr. right but also my good friends. In context to Mr. Right I keep saying and telling him that he needs to be my best friend and he needs to open up to me, but in all honesty I kinda mean can I keep my stuff to myself and you have to tell me everything. Anyway so recently I opened up (literally) to Mr. Right and it felt good and scary simultaneously. For the four years we have been together, with all the ups and downs we have had, we really haven’t or rather I have never opened up to him like I did. You know the fears, and inadequacy that we carry. It takes courage strength and a whole lot of trust to share the tender parts of yourself but how do you do this without trust. Coz when I tell you my fears and flaws I am not handing you a newly modernized weapons system but it’s a sacred gift. Not only in romantic relationships but also with platonic ones, when I am at a point I can trust you with that magical gift called my flaws please make a conscious and open hearted decision to regard this information as the precious gift that it is.
Which made me questions do you believe that your partner should know everything about you? Or do you feel that there should be some things about you (ideas/beliefs/feelings/experiences) that are off-limits in discussing with your partner or allowing your partner to know about you? I know that the alchemy between vulnerability and honesty is the chemical reaction that can transform our communication. But is the willingness to be vulnerable a significant feature of lasting relationships one in which partners are allies and not foes. Which brings me to this point, in every relationship their comes a point at which conflict arises and each relationship has breakdown at some point or another so, if I feel my trust has been damaged then how does one maintain their vulnerability(PLEASE ANSWER THIS) without clamming up and slowly surely isolating the person who has broken your trust. I know that I am the kind of person who builds high wall build around me to avoid being hurt again but my question is how does one strive to be as open and honest as possible and hope that he is also doing the same but still respect that some things are private as best I can.
I'm a woman who carries around all these layers of fear and vulnerability
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